relationships

/Tag:relationships
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  • 8 simple steps to giving feedback

How to give feedback, 8 simple steps…

October 20th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , |

One of the most intimidating things to do can be giving feedback when it’s needed. Are you guilty of not telling someone they’ve got something between their teeth and yet it’s all you can look at while you’re talking with them? Don’t want to embarrass them, right? But how mortifying is it to keep working under an assumption that all is going great, when secretly people are commenting behind your back? Despite the awkwardness of it all, people are grateful [...]

Quality communication begins here…

October 6th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , |

Communication is such a tricky thing to do well. Invariably people misunderstand each other, misinterpret or struggle to stay connected by the inadequacy of language. Despite lecturing in counselling and communication skills, being a psychotherapist and a lifetime of study on this very topic, I’m still working at mastery! I’m better at it these days than in the past but I still feel like there is room for improvement. It takes great courage to speak honestly and vulnerably from the [...]

  • Girl with umbrella

A Laugh a Day Keeps the Blues Away

July 23rd, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , |

As a child, my family subscribed to the Reader’s Digest and my favourite part of that little magazine was the two page spread titled, Laughter is the Best Medicine. One of us would often bring out the Reader’s Digest and say, “Listen to this!” and then share something that had tickled our funny bone. The reward was when someone else ‘got it’ and laughed along; it was a source of connection. At age 20, when I found a man who [...]

  • Getting_Committed

Looking for transformation – here’s a tip

June 16th, 2016|Categories: Blog, Communication & conflict, Low mood|Tags: , , , |

Writing to you now as a blissful and content Mrs. Hibbins, rather than Ms. Lebsanft, I wanted to share something that has been a little surprising and given cause for reflection. My husband and I have been together now a decade, so we’ve already spent a long time in a relationship and I thought that marriage wouldn’t really change anything greatly, yet it has. On the outside it’s subtle but internally, it’s deeply transformative for both of us. The only [...]

  • balancing_adversity

How to thrive, even in adversity

May 25th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , , |

Mel Gibson is quoted as saying, “I’ve learned that a bitter experience can make you better.” No doubt you have proved this too. It CAN make you better but it requires having adequate support, coping mechanisms and resources. A recent study reported on the critical role that mothers play in helping children thrive or flourish in adversity.* Adverse Childhood Experiences** (ACEs), situations like a family breakup, the death of a parent, living with someone who is depressed for more than [...]

  • family_on_hands

Family culture: it’s in your hands

May 12th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , |

Family... You can't live without them and, sometimes, it's jolly hard to live with them! Whatever the nature of our family and relationships, regularly taking a moment to reflect on what family means to us and the type of family culture we want to belong to, is really useful. If there's a prevailing mood of cooperation and respect within your crew, that's great! If you feel there's room for improvement, that's great too because now is the perfect time to [...]

  • thank_you_note

Take Time to say Thank You

April 28th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , |

Taxi driver, nutritionist, chief cook, 24/7 counsellor, cleaner of houses, first aider, dispenser of kisses (and bandaids!), laundress extraordinaire, proof reader, cheer leader, police woman, diplomatic adviser, financial adviser, career coach, keeper of dreams and secrets...all roles that go hand in hand with being a mother. I almost forgot to mention that she’s also the source of unconditional love and wisdom, but that goes without saying! Remind yourself that you're doing a great job As mum it’s easy to forget [...]

  • telephone_conversation

Difficult Conversations Made Easy…Easier

April 14th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , |

You’ve probably discovered, like I have, that some conversations are hard to have. As a result they can be put off; sometimes forever. Usually, it’s the fear of hurting someone’s feelings or of feeling hurt by what they might say that stops us from taking action, but in the end that doesn’t yield the best result for anyone. When situations are left unresolved, angst builds and relationships suffer. Feeling confident to discuss things as they arise helps avoid misunderstandings and [...]

  • Loving_relationships_one_question

One question that could help a relationship last a lifetime…

March 21st, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , |

Easter is almost upon us and hopefully this means some R&R for you. With that in mind and contemplating what type of Easter would be worth having this year, I remembered a conversation with a student last week and wanted to share. My student is a gentleman in his early 70’s who has just retired, survived life-threatening illness and has commenced study for a new career in counselling. We were chatting and he shared he’d been married for 45 years, [...]

  • kitchen_rules

My First Kitchen Infringement Notice

February 16th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , |

A few months ago I came across a sign which declared “Kitchen Rules” and I simply couldn’t resist. It was as if I’d written them myself, so I bought the sign and boldly posted it on the kitchen wall for all to see. Over the next few days I got a few comments from the crew, things like, “New kitchen rules? What’s this all about?” Fast forward to one Friday night recently. By some minor miracle the entire clan had [...]

  • retrospective_bucket_list

The Retrospective Bucket List – What’s On Yours?

February 1st, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , |

I saw my friend’s eyebrows raise in amusement, perhaps even a hint of astonishment, when I told her, “I’m going surfing tomorrow.” Learning to surf was on THE LIST for Miss 16 and her birthday seemed like the perfect opportunity. In lieu of a birthday party and to honour her wish to make this year one of activity and adventure, the family decided to go along for the ‘ride’! So, there I was with the rest of the class; our [...]

  • typewriter_win_win

Feel Like Screaming? Try 4-Step Win-Win Formula

January 20th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , , |

People can be so frustrating, at times. Colleagues, family members, friends and yes, yours truly! We’re all capable of doing or saying things that can cause angst or irritation; learning to negotiate conflict with tact and respect is one of the great challenges in life. If frustrations aren’t resolved early they sometimes escalate, resulting in an outburst of emotion that can be unpleasant, to say the least. Then comes guilt, “Why did I say that?” “I should have known better!” [...]

  • keys_to_happiness

Good Relationships are Key to a Happy, Healthy Year!

January 5th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , |

Have you wished family, friends and colleagues, “Happy New Year!” recently? I have. A new year causes us to reconsider what we’ve been doing and plan for how to do more of  what we like, usually more of what makes us happy. It can be a delicate balance...more of this, less of that. I was interested in a recent TEDx talk which revealed findings from the longest known study ever conducted into adult happiness. Conducted at Harvard University and spanning [...]

Lessons of Loss and Love

November 25th, 2015|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , |

Spending time with people who are approaching the end of life is an experience I’ve come to value for the way it helps me put things in perspective. As a result, I’ve discovered that when I approach the week just one day at a time, as you do when circumstance prompts you to remember that each one is a gift, it becomes easier to discern the important  things of life from the not so important. Here are five things I’ve [...]

Who Mothers Mommy?

November 11th, 2015|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , |

Researchers at Arizona State University published a study last week which I found interesting. It was titled, “Who mothers mommy? Factors that contribute to mothers’ well being,” I know, some of us are 'Mum' rather than 'Mom' but it’s still the same role and the outcomes are worth noting :) The study involved interviewing 2000 well educated, upper middle-class mothers to find out what helped them cope with motherhood. According to the researchers this group was considered ‘high risk” for [...]

The gift of motherhood – thank you my love

November 4th, 2015|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , |

This Saturday will be a day of celebration, my son's 21st birthday and I’ve been reminiscing, reflecting on being a mum and spending half my life with this beautiful boy (man). These last 21 years have been mammoth, scary, incredibly joyful and rewarding, yet ever so stretchy. For the mums reading this, do you feel the same? One of the realisations I had while we were stringing up garden lights this week, getting ready for the big bash, was that [...]