• telephone_conversation

Difficult Conversations Made Easy…Easier

April 14th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , |

You’ve probably discovered, like I have, that some conversations are hard to have. As a result they can be put off; sometimes forever. Usually, it’s the fear of hurting someone’s feelings or of feeling hurt by what they might say that stops us from taking action, but in the end that doesn’t yield the best result for anyone. When situations are left unresolved, angst builds and relationships suffer. Feeling confident to discuss things as they arise helps avoid misunderstandings and [...]

  • Loving_relationships_one_question

One question that could help a relationship last a lifetime…

March 21st, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , |

Easter is almost upon us and hopefully this means some R&R for you. With that in mind and contemplating what type of Easter would be worth having this year, I remembered a conversation with a student last week and wanted to share. My student is a gentleman in his early 70’s who has just retired, survived life-threatening illness and has commenced study for a new career in counselling. We were chatting and he shared he’d been married for 45 years, [...]

  • letter_and_rose

An open letter to my friend… ‘You are enough.’

March 17th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , |

To my friend, This comes today to say, “You’re special!” I want you to know how much I value and appreciate you for the wonderful woman that you are; a woman I proudly call ‘my friend’. I see you struggling at the moment and I’m reminded of some wise words written by Brene Brown in The Gifts of Imperfection. She said, “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” Our [...]

  • Virtues_vs_wins

Who will you impress and how?

March 7th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , |

Following on from my last blog, my friend passed away last week and his funeral was on Saturday. Repeatedly people kept remembering how he had made them feel - accepted, loved and included. He lived a life of virtue and valued everyone that came into it and we were all warmed by it. How do you like to impress people? By wins or virtues… When I was in my early twenties I thought life was about getting rungs on the [...]

What I Learned While Folding Socks

December 9th, 2015|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , |

Do socks mount up like Everest in your laundry? Do they threaten to overflow even your largest laundry basket if you dare put off folding them for a whole week? Do you end up with lonely socks that have apparently repelled their mate...two socks on two feet both presumably taken off within seconds of each other, are separated by some strange twist of fate. Then, the day after you finally discard the loner, the missing mate miraculously comes back into [...]

Lessons of Loss and Love

November 25th, 2015|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , |

Spending time with people who are approaching the end of life is an experience I’ve come to value for the way it helps me put things in perspective. As a result, I’ve discovered that when I approach the week just one day at a time, as you do when circumstance prompts you to remember that each one is a gift, it becomes easier to discern the important  things of life from the not so important. Here are five things I’ve [...]

Who Mothers Mommy?

November 11th, 2015|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , |

Researchers at Arizona State University published a study last week which I found interesting. It was titled, “Who mothers mommy? Factors that contribute to mothers’ well being,” I know, some of us are 'Mum' rather than 'Mom' but it’s still the same role and the outcomes are worth noting :) The study involved interviewing 2000 well educated, upper middle-class mothers to find out what helped them cope with motherhood. According to the researchers this group was considered ‘high risk” for [...]

A Lesson In Compassion

October 14th, 2015|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , |

An elderly friend recently recounted to me what she called her ‘first lesson in compassion’, a story worth sharing. One day, when she was just seven years old, my friend pointed to a girl walking down the street outside her house and told her mother, “That girl, Irene, is in my class at school.” The girl was walking alone, her clothes outdated and her hair untidy. My friend’s mother looked down at her daughter and said, “You be kind to [...]

The science of connection – 2 powerful strategies

October 7th, 2015|Categories: Blog, Communication & conflict, Isolation|Tags: , , |

Last week I was standing at the bus stop. A massive storm had just passed over the city and it was still a little drizzly. Thanks to my mum, I have a handy-dandy, pocket-sized umbrella in my bag, which she gave to me for my first day of lecturing as a surprise, “Good luck, you go girl!” gift. That lovely act of unexpected kindness has had an ongoing ripple effect. While waiting for the bus, feeling content and dry under [...]

How to learn anything in 20hrs…

September 23rd, 2015|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , |

Nod your head quietly if you’ve ever started something then given up in frustration shortly after beginning. I have! Learning new computer software quickly makes me feel incompetent, overwhelmed and wanting to do other things, like cleaning the car or baking. I’m not sure if you’ve heard the dictum that, “It takes 10 000 to be an expert or master anything.” I have lived under this premise for many years and it is true (if you want to be an [...]