“Expect the best and prepare for the worst”…

August 18th, 2016|Categories: Blog, Overwhelm|Tags: , , |

Sometimes, despite even the best of care, stuff happens. So it is that my little car of 17 years met a nasty surprise this week. I won’t go into details but I fell prey to a very reckless driver. Fortunately, no lives were lost nor did serious injuries occur. My reason for sharing this story though, is that I noticed a marked difference in my reaction to this experience, versus being involved in a car accident 10 years ago, and [...]

  • You're not selfish

Do you ever feel guilty of being selfish?

August 11th, 2016|Categories: Blog, Communication & conflict, Exhaustion, Overwhelm|Tags: , , , |

Do you ever feel guilty of being selfish?  “How do you know the difference between being selfish and just good self-care?” This is a question that Michael Yapko PhD, in his recent book, poses as one of the top 12 discernment struggles. Too often people give up on good self-care because they wrongly judge something as being ‘selfish’. I put my hand up for being guilty of this countless times, putting everyone else’s needs before my own and neglecting to [...]

  • Be_helpful_not_enabling

Are you really helping or enabling? Something every helpful person needs to know…

July 27th, 2016|Categories: Blog, Communication & conflict, Exhaustion, Overwhelm|Tags: , , , |

When you see someone struggling, do you feel impelled to make it better and fix it, to stop the discomfort? This can look like; doing your child’s homework for them, fighting your friend’s battles on their behalf, taking on another person’s workload to stop them from getting in trouble at work, etc. If this sounds like you or someone else you know, it’s important you know this… Helping someone to avoid the consequences of their actions is enabling… Enabling teaches [...]

Keeping your cool takes…

July 14th, 2016|Categories: Blog, Communication & conflict, Overwhelm|Tags: , , , |

It can be hard to keep your cool with other people, children, bosses, work colleagues and the like. They may at times seem thoughtless, inconsiderate, rude and even deliberately hostile. Yet, I’m guessing you may have experienced losing your cool in moments and then felt that you didn’t put your best foot forward or represent yourself as effectively as you would have liked. It’s more useful to remain calm in situations and allow your mind to think strategically. Having a [...]

How to make a friend of the voice inside your head…

July 7th, 2016|Categories: Blog, Communication & conflict, Overwhelm|Tags: , , , |

By popular request for help on self-talk, here are some strategies. We all know the critical inner voice inside our head. It’s the one who can pick every nitty gritty fault out, even the ones that others don’t see. It will focus on the one thing you could have done better rather than the bucket load of things that you’re doing well in any day. When things get really bad and this voice takes over your thinking it can have [...]

  • Holding_the_Space

How to ‘hold your space’ in the face of adversity

June 30th, 2016|Categories: Blog, Overwhelm|Tags: , , |

We’ve had people ask us, “How do you stay confident in the face of other people’s criticisms and judgements?”  Confronted with an onslaught of negative opinion or being around negatively focused people can easily impact your feelings of self-worth. You can end up doubting your own judgement and wondering if you really are… (what everyone says you are). How do you find your way in a world which is inclined this way? You need buffers. Buffer zones protect your worth [...]

Lacking confidence some days? 3 quick tips to gain more…

June 23rd, 2016|Categories: Blog, Overwhelm|Tags: , , |

Maybe you’ve experienced some of these feelings: a lack of confidence in your ability, feeling that you have to keep people happy and the frustration, oh the frustration that no matter how much you do, it doesn’t feel like enough? These feelings are in plague proportions for a good majority, so take comfort in knowing you’re not the only one. Here are three things I’ve learned that may help you gain a foothold on confidence and self-worth. 1. Be willing to [...]

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How to thrive, even in adversity

May 25th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , , |

Mel Gibson is quoted as saying, “I’ve learned that a bitter experience can make you better.” No doubt you have proved this too. It CAN make you better but it requires having adequate support, coping mechanisms and resources. A recent study reported on the critical role that mothers play in helping children thrive or flourish in adversity.* Adverse Childhood Experiences** (ACEs), situations like a family breakup, the death of a parent, living with someone who is depressed for more than [...]

  • Wedding_cake_ruffle

A warning tale … ask for help before crisis point!

May 2nd, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , |

I apologise for this being a longer than normal blog but feel free to use it as an amusing short story to enjoy with a cuppa. I can laugh about it now. In my psychotically optimistic mode, a few months ago I decided to tackle making my wedding cake. I haven’t made a fruit cake before or iced a wedding cake, which will become very obvious as you read on. Step One - ask an expert!  I went to the [...]

  • #thank_you_mum

Thank you mum

April 20th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , |

As you may have heard, on Friday 29th the Bare Hands crew will be down out River Quay, Southbank, between 11am and 1pm. We’ll be asking people to send a message to mum and say, “Thank you”. You’re welcome to join us and say hello. There will be giveaways, freebies and smiles aplenty and we’d love to meet you in person if we haven’t already. I thought it was timely to say my thank you to my mum this week. [...]

Patience… who would like more?

April 5th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , |

My hand is up high on this one! I feel like the girl sitting on the box, unable to open it because it’s not quite time yet. The last 3 months seem to be providing me with ample opportunity to find strategies for gathering patience. As I sit down to write to you I’m still waiting for results. Yesterday was particularly tough, having undergone another thyroid biopsy last week, in the hope of getting a definitive finding. I expected news [...]

  • letter_and_rose

An open letter to my friend… ‘You are enough.’

March 17th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , |

To my friend, This comes today to say, “You’re special!” I want you to know how much I value and appreciate you for the wonderful woman that you are; a woman I proudly call ‘my friend’. I see you struggling at the moment and I’m reminded of some wise words written by Brene Brown in The Gifts of Imperfection. She said, “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” Our [...]

  • staying_calm

How to manage fear in those tough moments …

January 25th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , |

This week I’m playing the waiting game… waiting for biopsy results. It’s never fun when a doctor tells you they ‘need to do further tests’ and it’s in those moments of incredible vulnerability it’s easy to fall prey to fear and anxiety. If I’d been in this situation 10 years ago, my reactions over these last few weeks would have been to panic, start blaming all and sundry and feeling completely helpless. I’m grateful I have some knowledge that helps [...]

  • typewriter_win_win

Feel Like Screaming? Try 4-Step Win-Win Formula

January 20th, 2016|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , , , , |

People can be so frustrating, at times. Colleagues, family members, friends and yes, yours truly! We’re all capable of doing or saying things that can cause angst or irritation; learning to negotiate conflict with tact and respect is one of the great challenges in life. If frustrations aren’t resolved early they sometimes escalate, resulting in an outburst of emotion that can be unpleasant, to say the least. Then comes guilt, “Why did I say that?” “I should have known better!” [...]

My embarrassing story…What’s yours?

December 16th, 2015|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , , |

It must be nearing the end of the year because my brain is dipping into crisis management mode rather than Zen-like calm. It seems my organisation skills are going haywire. How do I know this? Well, on Sunday I was in the marking zone, powering through end of year student assessments and I stopped for a lunch break. I was calmly making a cup of tea when panic descended. Oh no - I was meant to be a Qi Gong [...]

5 tips for Surviving Christmas Stress

December 2nd, 2015|Categories: Blog|Tags: , , , |

Are you counting down to the end of the year and a well-earned break? Christmas is that time of year when families come together, work slows down for a few days and it’s time to take stock of another year and rejuvenate for the year ahead. But, for many people, Christmas is not synonymous with ‘time to relax’. Instead, it’s often the cause of feeling overwhelmed, anxious and exhausted, so here are a handful of strategies to help you enjoy [...]