Maybe you’ve experienced some of these feelings: a lack of confidence in your ability, feeling that you have to keep people happy and the frustration, oh the frustration that no matter how much you do, it doesn’t feel like enough? These feelings are in plague proportions for a good majority, so take comfort in knowing you’re not the only one.

Here are three things I’ve learned that may help you gain a foothold on confidence and self-worth.

1. Be willing to change. If things aren’t going the way you’d like, something needs to change. Quite honestly, in my experience, it’s usually been me – reactions, expectations, boundaries, communication styles. Everything changes when you realise that you have choice and simple changes are most often the key to things getting back on track. The great thing is that when you make changes, others change too. Remember – it’s not failing to admit you want to do things differently for your own health and wellbeing.

2. Ask for help when you need it. There’s nothing quite like the relief you experience when you ask for help. I’ve learned that a different perspective and sharing the load can soon get me unstuck and feeling on top again. It might be family, friends, colleagues or a professional in an area where you still need to develop skills. Don’t be afraid to admit you need a helping hand. People get a real kick out of being needed too so give them a go to contribute.

3. What we focus on becomes our reality. If you want more of something, focus on it. It’s so easy to dwell on things that we don’t like, the behaviours that annoy, the apparent rudeness of another, the opportunities that haven’t opened up yet, but this just leaves you feeling discontented. Practice gratitude and catch others doing things that please you. Most importantly, let them know you’ve noticed! If no one is doing anything to please you, lead by example and do something to please them or show them how to please you. Focus on what you want more of you’ll find your assertiveness and confidence grows.

Hope your week is a good one!