It can be hard to keep your cool with other people, children, bosses, work colleagues and the like. They may at times seem thoughtless, inconsiderate, rude and even deliberately hostile. Yet, I’m guessing you may have experienced losing your cool in moments and then felt that you didn’t put your best foot forward or represent yourself as effectively as you would have liked. It’s more useful to remain calm in situations and allow your mind to think strategically. Having a buffer between reactions and speech, to stop the dreaded foot-in-mouth disease, pays dividends in the long run. It’s easier said than done though if you’ve been triggered and had your hot buttons pushed.

This might help…

  1. Remember, they don’t know what you know.

    Others are looking at the world from their perspective and priorities, more often than not. They will have different beliefs and values to you. To expect them to think and behave the same as you is unrealistic and almost impossible. Be prepared for these differences and grow your tolerance for them by being curious about what someone else’s values and beliefs might be. Remember, it’s probably not personal, they just haven’t given you a thought if someone offends you with their words or behaviour.

  2. Remember, they don’t know what you know.

    No-one else is going to do things exactly the same way that you do them. Your skills, experience and style are unique to you. Be kind to others if you’ve asked them to do something and allow them to do it in their own way, to the best of their capacity. If you want something done in a way that only you can do it, best to do it yourself.

  3. Remember, they don’t know what you know.

    (No, it’s not a mistake ~ the heading is important to remember and worth repeating!)

    Unless you give feedback or make clear requests, such as, “I would really like your help to…” or “When you say/do that it really makes me feel…” or “I thought you meant…is that true?”,  others will be only guessing, at best, what state you’re in. If you can be bold and courageous enough to share your desires, feelings and thoughts in a vulnerable way, you’ll build connection and educate others about their effect on you. It’s a win/win because both parties feel less anxious and have easier conflict resolution.

So if you’re getting angry or irritated, remember that other’s don’t know what you know, they’re not mind readers and their world doesn’t revolve around keeping you happy, so it’s time to speak up.

Warm regards

Roxy